Say What?!

A good sense of humor is what keeps you from going crazy in stressful environments. A sense of humor is supposed to be a sign of high intelligence. If that's so I'm in the presence of genius. Judge for yourself.

Hmmm

"How do we get more Hummers"

Major D. J. Fennell Responding to notification that most HMMWVs that operate inside the wire will be sent back to the states.





Imagination

SSgt: A good imagination helps make the deployment go faster.
SgtMaj: In that case, the majors have only been here for two days.
CO: And the SgtMaj has been here for two years.


A discussion on the imaginary adventures of the "lifeguard", Major F's imaginary engagement to her, and subsequent imaginary break up.



Pissies

"...Everybody else is getting pissy because they have nothing better to do."

LtCol C.J. Schorsch



You Can't Get There from Here

"It's 20 minutes to the start of the game and we're over 7,000 miles from the stadium. We should have parked closer."

Major F at 0200 as we walked into the Group HQ building slightly late to watch the CSU v CU game with other alumni.



Death, Lifting and Nutrition

CO: There is a dietitian at group who can consult with our Marines or with us if we need her.
Major F: Well, she can talk to us but I'm not following any guidance until I know what she can bench.
SgtMaj: Well, she might be able to tell us which foods we're eating are going to kill us.
CO: We are all going to die.
Major F: But we don't all get buried massive!
CO: I think most people want to be cremated.
Cox: Sir, they would never be able to put out the fire.



Don't Try Suicide

"I don't know how these suicide bombers live with themselves."

Major Cox



Incoming

"Those poor bastards barely get the round in the tube before they're running for the hills. I feel bad for them. I almost wish they'd hit something just to boost their self esteem."

Maj F on the enemies poor shooting while he was visiting TQ.





Mate??

"Sir, I wanted to fork you so bad, but you saw it coming."

Sgt W in reference to a chess game he lost with Major Cox....thank god.



3 Will Get You Five

'Around here, if you ask three different people you get five different stories.'

Sgt Maj expressing frustration on changing dynamics at Al Assad



Pregnant
"Sir, did you hear I knocked my wife up? Now I'm sure she can't get knocked up by somebody else."
Anonymous and rightly so.



Japanese

"My gosh! did my Grandfather have it great living in a Japanese concentration camp for three years during WW II. He never had to phone home."

Anonymous after his wife's discovery that he had not shared the same trivial story Major Cox shared with his wife.



Groundhog Day


Fennell: Is it Friday?
Cox: It's Saturday.
Fennell: It doesn't feel like Saturday
Cox: Every day is like Saturday here.
Fennell: Now, you should ask yourself, ...what’s Saturday like?



A conversation on calendar confusion.

When Mars Attacks

This Happened quite a while ago. It was quite a bizarre day. This storm blew in thick and heavy. It was certainly the worst storm we have had. According to the records this is the worst year for dust storms in the past 60 years.
Dave and I took the opportunity to go outside and play. The colors in this photo are exactly the same as it appeared in person. The intense portion of the storm lasted a couple hours but we were socked in for a good 12 hours. Within 30 minutes of this thing hitting there was a thick layer of dust on every surface. We wore face masks as you could see dust in the air inside our huts.
What a great time. I learned how to use the timer on my camera to take this. Managed to survive this unprovoked attack by the desert with the help of face masks and goggles. It was a near thing.

Take a free ride

I know I don't post very often but then there isn't much new happening. Yesterday was different. I had to leave the wire and conduct a little recon. I got to take a ride on one of the Marine Corps newest and priciest toys the MV-22 Osprey. $68 million dollars per copy. Quite the ride. This aircraft takes off and lands like a helicopter then flies along at a breezy 246 mph. It is basically twice as fast as a helicopter. It was a great flight.
Kind of cool to get to ride on one. When I was entering the Marine Corps with a flight contract in 1985 they told us that we would be among the first young pilots to be flying this as it would be replacing the 1968 designed CH-46 helicopters. Twenty some years later we still have CH-46s and the Ospreys have just come into use in the active forces. I love it when a plan comes together.